Cricket

So who is going to win the IPL? The bookmakers unite in making Delhi the 4-1 favourites but then the waters get muddied. Deccan, Chennai, Mumbai and Bangalore are all wavering between 4-1 and 7-1 depending who you go to and then a little back on 8-1 or 9-1 are Punjab, Kolkata and Rajasthan.

Cricket Bet Live, the specialist cricket-betting site, are the most generous if you fancy Rajasthan, the 2008 winners, offering 10-1, but they are less generous on some of the favourites. Can Shane Warne, who seems to spend most of his time gambling these days, upset the odds again?

Michael Lumb may not be a familiar name outside of Hampshire, but the Rajasthan batsman is the favourite with Blue Square to be the top scorer of the eight English players in the league, at odds of 5-2.

In part that is because Kevin Pietersen and Paul Collingwood will miss half the tournament, but how many games will Lumb play? There are only four slots allowed for foreigners per game and Warne will take one of them for Rajasthan. Graeme Smith will be another certainty.

That leaves two slots for eight overseas players to fight for. I'd have thought Shane Watson, Morne Morkel and Adam Voges would be ahead of Lumb, who is possibly preferable to Johan Botha, Damien Martyn, Shaun Tait and Dimi Mascarenhas. But the bookies make Lumb 6-1 second-favourite to be Rajasthan's top scorer and with not many recognised big hitters in their side, he could sneak in. Then it is up to him.

Eoin Morgan is 3-1 to be the top English batsman, but he also faces a selection fight. Bangalore have four fine Indian batsmen (Dravid, Uthappa, Kohli, Pandey). Jacques Kallis and Pietersen, when he arrives, will also be certainties in the top order, which leaves Morgan scrapping with Ross Taylor to be first off the bench if someone is injured.

Likewise, how many games will Ravi Bopara play for Punjab? He did well in the IPL last year, but Kumar Sangakkara, Mahela Jayawardena and Brett Lee will probably get three of the four places.

Bopara, Shaun Marsh, James Hopes and Adrian Barath will contest one batting place and, anyway, the final overseas slot could go to Yusuf Abdullah, who bowled well last season.

Bopara and Lumb need games to squeak into the England squad for the World Twenty20, as does the out-of-favour Owais Shah, who didn't get a single outing for Delhi in the IPL last season. He has now moved to Kolkata, who need all the help they can get after a dire 2009 season, but more bench-warming awaits with Chris Gayle, Brendon McCullum, Brad Hodge, David Hussey, Ajantha Mendis and Angelo Mathews more attractive starting options.

One final market of interest: how much will Pietersen mess things up for Bangalore? Last year, Bangalore lost four of their six games that he played in and won seven of the ten after he left.

By the time that Pietersen arrives this year, Bangalore will have between eight and ten games left, depending on them reaching the play-offs, and Cricket Bet Live have put the win/loss market on those games at 5.5 wins (ie, the same odds are offered on them winning six or losing five of them).

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So, nearly IPL time. And if you are not already about to explode with excitement at the prospect of the Cuttack Cucumbers taking on the Ahmedabad Armadillos, or whoever is playing in the first game tomorrow, then the musical line-up that Lalit Modi has pulled together for opening night might push you over the edge.

He's only gone and signed Lionel Richie, UB40 and an ABBA tribute act!

It rather makes our efforts at launching the World Twenty20 last summer – Alesha Dixon (rained off) and the Duke of Kent (not rained off) – look half-hearted.

But what songs will they do to get the crowd ready for some cricket? Here's a few suggestions, but I'm sure you can do better:

Lionel Richie
Winless Love, written especially for the Kolkata Knight Riders
Nigel Llong (Our Nige), about the Kent off spinner turned international umpire
Three Times a Leg-Bye

UB40
Falling in Love With Yuvraj
I Got Mumbai, duet with Mukesh Ambani
Red Reddy Whines, about Venkat Reddy, the Deccan owner

ABBA tribute act (Bjorn Again)
Money, Money, Money (or is that too obvious?)
Voulez Viru, a very popular song in Delhi
Take A Chance on Me, sung with Owais Shah, Graham Napier and indeed most of the English IPL players
Ow Do, Ow Do, Ow Do, Ow Do, Ow Do, with Geoff Boycott

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I don't really care about the whole Michael Clarke/Lara Bingle tortured love story that is occupying the Australian media right now.

I'm not sure why she is so het up about some pixilated photos of her in the shower being made public. Isn't being photographed almost naked what she does for a living? And it seemed rather wussy at first that Clarke felt the need to leave Australia's tour of New Zealand to comfort her, but if the reports that their relationship is on the rocks are true, then you can hardly blame him. Good luck to them as they try to sort things out.

[Although, as an aside, it would be quite fun if they split up and she got together with Brett Lee instead, given that his nickname is Binga. If they got married, they could be the Binga-Bingles. Isn't that where Helen Robinson was always going to paint in Neighbours?]

What caught my eye, though, was this Herald Sun story about how their possessions could be divided. He gets the houses, she keeps the engagement ring and her Aston Martin. He gets Jerry, the Staffordshire terrier, she gets a Pomeranian called Winter.

It's the dogs I really care about, you see. No one thinks about their feelings in all this. How will Jerry and Winter feel about having to live apart? Or did they never really get on? Maybe Jerry and Winter, pictured here with Bingle and an unidentified furry friend, were the wedge that split their human owners.

Perhaps Jerry, who was no doubt named after Gerald Majola, the Cricket South Africa chief executive, needs to speak to Maggie, the Border terrier who was owned by Andy Murray and Kim Sears until their break-up at the end of last year. Maggie now lives with Kim as the world tennis tour is no place for a dog.

But will Jerry be welcome in the Australian dressing-room? What if he woofs during the singing of the team song? Will he end up pinned to the wall by a frenzied Simon Katich?

Suppose he does his business in Doug Bollinger's kit bag or decides to chew Brad Haddin's gloves. Is he house-trained? For that matter, is Shane Watson? Will Jerry have more right to be called Pup than Clarke? Has Clarke really considered all this?

The Times: bringing you the questions that really matter. Until a more important story breaks.

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Daryl Harper will not be asked to umpire in the World Twenty20 next month. The ICC says the decision was made "for a number of general performance reasons", going on to add: "It must be categorically stated, however, that none of these reasons is related to his role as third umpire in the fourth Test between South Africa and England in Johannesburg earlier this year."

An inquiry into that apparent howler, in which Harper allegedly did not have the volume turned up and so missed a clear snick as the ball passed Graeme Smith's bat, is ongoing, but it is concerning that Harper has been dropped regardless of that decision.

With Harper absent, the opportunity is given to Marais Erasmus, of South Africa, Rod Tucker, of Australia, and Shavir Tarapore, of India, to get experience of umpiring at the top. Perhaps one or more of these three, if they do a good job, will be rewarded with a place on the elite panel.

For Tarapore, in particular, it is a chance to put his country back on the umpiring map. The last Indian member of the ICC's elite panel was S Venkataraghavan, who retired six years ago.

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On Friday, Alastair Cook will become the 79th man to lead England in a Test match. No great magic in the number – I think Pakistan got through as many just in the past decade - but the dawn of a new, if brief, era gave me an excuse for some number-crunching.

* Assuming no injury or bizarre selection twist this month, Cook will captain England at least twice in his career, which will put him ahead of 11 previous England skippers who only got one bite at it. These include Mark Butcher (1999), Tom Graveney (1968) and John Edrich (1975).

* He becomes the eighteenth captain whose first initial begins with A - which includes APF "Percy" Chapman, AN "Monkey" Hornby and a couple of Tonys - and the third in the past three years (following Andrew Strauss and Andrew Flintoff). None of the 17 before him were called Alastair.

* A is the most common first initial for an England captain, eight ahead of M.

* Among Cook's 78 predecessors there were two peers (Lord Hawke and Lord Harris) and three Honourables or peers-in-waiting (Ivo Bligh, who became the eighth Earl of Darnley in 1900; Lionel Tennyson, who became the third Baron Tennyson in 1928; and Freddie Calthorpe, who died in 1935, aged 43, and never succeeded his father) as well as one other Honourable, FS Jackson, who was a younger son of the first Baron Allerton and so fell behind his brother and his nephew in the succession (note to perplexed people: in the UK, all children of peers are given the courtesy title of The Hon…).

* Two other England captains were later given a life peerage: Baron Cowdrey of Tonbridge and Baron Sheppard of Liverpool.

* One England captain was a baronet (Sir Tim O'Brien, an Irishman who captained once in 1896). Eight others were later knighted: Gubby Allen, Ian Botham, Colin Cowdrey, Len Hutton, Jackson, Henry Levesen-Gower, Aubrey Smith and Pelham Warner.

* Eighteen were born outside England: Allen (Australia), Donald Carr (Germany), Cowdrey, Nasser Hussain, Douglas Jardine (India), Frederick Fane, O'Brien (Ireland), Ted Dexter (Italy), Freddie Brown (Peru), Mike Denness (Scotland), Tony Greig, Strauss, Allan Lamb, Kevin Pietersen (South Africa), Lord Harris, Warner (Trinidad), Cyril Walters, Tony Lewis (Wales)

* Eight made 100 first-class hundreds in their careers (Geoff Boycott, Cowdrey, Edrich, Graham Gooch, WG Grace, Graveney, Wally Hammond, Hutton). Cook has 22.

* Four played for Essex: Keith Fletcher, Gooch, JWHT Douglas and Hussain.

* Four were younger than Cook (25 years, 68 days on Friday) when they first captained England: Monty Bowden, Bligh (both 23), Carr and Botham (both 24). Six others were 25, but a little older than Cook, when they first took charge: David Sheppard, David Gower, Mike Atherton, Peter May, Aubrey Smith and Chapman.

* Fourteen averaged more with the bat as captain than they did when they were not captain (minimum career average of 35): Atherton, Denness, Dexter, Edrich, Mike Gatting, Gooch, FS Jackson, Jardine, Lamb, May, Pietersen, Strauss, Tennyson, Marcus Trescothick.

* Seventeen had a fall in their overall batting average as captain (minimum career average of 35): Boycott, Cowdrey, Fletcher, RE Foster, Hammond, Hussain, Hutton, Gower, Graveney, Greig, Sheppard, Arthur Shrewsbury, Allan Steel, Alec Stewart, Stoddart, Vaughan, Walters. Cook's batting average is 42.65.

* Only one has captained England against Bangladesh: Michael Vaughan, who won all four Tests in 2003 and 2005, two by an innings.

* None, as far as we know, wore mascara or eye shadow. The jury is still out on Cook…

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Those crazy folks at the Pakistan Cricket Board are at it again. They have just been walloped in all forms of the game by Australia and so it is all change.

Never mind that they could have won one of the Tests and two limited-overs games if they had applied themselves a little (or, as one of my friends is convinced, not been on the take). Heads must roll.

Younus Khan and Mohammad Yousuf, their two finest batsmen of the past decade, have been told that they will never play again. Aged 32 and 35, they are nearing the end of their careers but remain better than any other batsmen Pakistan can offer right now.

Umar Akmal, one of the few players to emerge with credit from the tour, has been fined £16,000 for what was a slightly silly injury-faking incident in support of his brother, but he is only 19. He should be nurtured, not disciplined.

The board says that Younus and Yousuf (I've never understood why we refer to one by his first name and the other by his second name) must go because Pakistan lacked discipline in Australia. Leaving aside the fact that ill discipline is as much a Pakistani trait as excessive caution is an English failing (it's part of their charm), why should the senior players pay for it but not the tour management or the board members?

I like Pakistani cricket and am looking forward to them playing Australia here this summer. Two of the reasons to relish their arrival were Younus and Yousuf (alas that Inzamam is no longer playing too). A Pakistan team without them will be less attractive, but also far less likely to be competitive with Australia. Best not buy tickets for the fourth day of the Lord's Test.

Still, at least there is always the chance of a trademark piece of comedy from Shahid Afridi. My money is on him streaking through the Long Room or perhaps attempting to climb the Father Time weathervane during the tea interval.

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With three and a half days to go to the first Test against Bangladesh, time to play the selection game again and, as usual, there is little to go on with just one warm-up game before the Tests begin.

Six names are presumably inked in: Cook, Pietersen (regardless of his repeated failings against left-arm spin), Collingwood, Bell, Prior, Swann. With Trott making a hundred in the first innings, he would be hard to leave out now, but will he open with Cook or bat at No 3, with the task of facing the new ball given to Carberry, who didn't seize his chance against Bangladesh A, lasting 37 balls in two innings?

When I spoke to Michael Vaughan before the tour, he dismissed the idea of Trott opening and said that Carberry, as a specialist opener, was a certain choice. But if so, does that restrict our bowling options? And why are England so reluctant to go in with just five batsmen?

The answer to that question will dictate the make-up of the rest of the side. Personally, I'd try Trott opening, with Pietersen at No 3 (that might keep him away from the spin for a bit) and Prior at No 6 and two spinners. I suspect that even in that scenario, Bell will go at No 3 rather than Pietersen.

After that it is anyone's guess, with so many fast bowlers crocked. Broad and Onions would be certainties if they were fit, but that decision will be taken on Friday morning and any three from Bresnan, Plunkett, Shahzad, Wright and Finn could play.

Given that Bresnan was asked to bat at No 4 in today's game against Bangladesh A and stayed in for an hour and a half, he is clearly being lined up as a possible No 7. So put Swann at No 8, Tredwell at No 9 or 10 and pick two quicks, but who? Wright would be the better batsman (he could go at No 8), but he just seems to lack something. Plunkett and Shahzad are pushing hard for a place. But maybe it is the youngest, 20-year-old Finn, who could sneak straight in.

Apparently, he has looked nippy and accurate in the warm-up game. His figures of three for 29 from 18 overs are quite impressive and better than Shahzad, Plunkett or Bresnan offered. It would be a risk to chuck him in straight off the plane. But if you can't blood a 20-year-old when he is high on confidence and Bangladesh are the opposition, when can you?

My team for Friday (assuming Broad and Onions are injured): Cook, Trott, Pietersen, Collingwood, Bell, Prior, Bresnan, Swann, Plunkett, Tredwell, Finn.

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A friend told me yesterday that he was having a net with some friends at Lord's a few weeks ago when who should rock up in the adjacent net but Kevin Pietersen and Graham Gooch.

Apparently, Pietersen was batting beautifully and seemed to be in perfect balance as he went through his routine. Then again, Gooch wasn't bowling left-arm spin at him. Perhaps he should have got John Childs, the former Essex tweaker, to help out.

What struck my friend, though, was not so much the beauty of Pietersen's practice, but a term he used to describe the upcoming tour. "So are ya going to da Desh then, boet," Pietersen said, in his finest Home Counties accent (actually, he may not have said "boet").

Does anyone use Desh to describe Bangladesh? I think it just means "land" in various Indian languages and really shouldn't be any different to using Oz for Australia or Windies for the West Indies, but it struck my friend, and me, as an odd slang term and almost disrespectful.

I'm sure Pietersen meant no disrespect and I don't intend to have a pop at him for a private conversation, I'm just interested in whether it is a common abbreviation. Do Bangladeshi cricket fans shout "come on the Desh"? If anyone can educate me, I'd be grateful.

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In December 2009, Sulieman Benn, Brad Haddin and Mitchell Johnson were involved in a downright ugly altercation at the WACA test. Johnson wasn’t really the trouble-maker then, but less than three months later, during the Napier ODI against New Zealand, he was the instigator.

After being smacked for consecutive boundaries by Scott Styris in the last two balls of his 10-over quota (46th over of the innings), Johnson totally lost it.

He screamed at Styris and definitely head-butted him (see video #1 and video #2).

There were only two reasons why the situation didn’t get worse – Styris was wearing a helmet, and Brad Haddin pushed Johnson away from the scene.

Again, as was the case at Perth, the umpire did nothing!

After the game, Ranjan Madugalle, the match referee had a man-to-man talk with Mitchell Johnson and Scott Styris and fined them 60% and 15% of their match fee.

Johnson was charged with a level 2 offence (2.2.4 dealing with inappropriate and deliberate physical contact). Styris was charged with a level 1 offence (2.1.8 dealing with actions contrary to the spirit of cricket, bringing the game into disrepute).

So let’s go back in time. In December, Johnson brought the game into disrepute and his actions were contrary to the spirit of the game. At that same time, Sulieman Benn was given suspension points and missed two ODIs.

Yet, while Benn got suspension points, the ICC media release makes no mention of Johnson getting suspension points. I’m definitely not making the case that Benn got a harsh punishment. But the point here is around how somehow the ICC match referees tend to close at least one eye when it comes to judging Australian players’ behaviour.

One suspension point means the player misses an ODI or T20 international. Two suspension points means the player misses a test or two ODIs/T20 internationals.

Clause 7.3 of the code of conduct deals with repeat offences within a 12 month (not calendar year) period. A repeat of a level 1 offence results in a fine between 50-100% of the match fee and/or 2 suspension points. A repeat of a level 2 offence results in between 2 and 8 suspension points.

In December, Johnson was hauled up under a level 1 offence charge. Last week, he was hauled up under a level 2 offence. But in both situations, his act was the same – inappropriate physical contact. Given the recurrence, it seems fairly obvious that he should have been suspended for at least 1 ODI, in addition to a monetary penalty.

Since he pleaded guilty early on, thereby escaping the match referee’s wrath (?), I hereby anoint Mitchell Johnson the new Harry Houdini.

What’s your opinion?

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It is always worth dipping into an old Wisden every once in a while for a reminder of quainter, gentler times. I was just looking at the 1964 issue and was amused to read the results of a survey to mark the Almanack's 100th birthday.

More than 2,000 county spectators submitted their thoughts, which were drawn up into the following list of recommendations by a panel of Alec Bedser, Doug Insole and Norman Preston, the last being Wisden's editor. What on earth would people 45 years ago make of how cricket – and life – is played today? And what is so very wrong about these aims?

An analysis showed that the reformers wanted:
* A return to bonus points for faster run-rates.
* Sunday cricket – after church – plus two divisions with promotion and relegation.
* Limitation of time, or overs, for first innings in county games.
* Cash bonuses for wins and six-hits.
* Permission for overseas stars to play immediately – one per county.
* A speed-up of over-rates to 19 or 20 an hour.
* Batsmen to be given out for deliberate pad play.
* The elimination of all types of time-wasting by (a) limiting the fast bowlers' run up to 15 paces and (b) increasing the overs to eight or 10 balls.

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